THERE IS AN OLD CHINESE PROVERB THAT SAYS- IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING- LET IT GO- IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU, IT'S YOURS, IF NOT, IT WAS NEVER YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
MAYBE THAT SUMS IT UP ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE IN ANSHAN.
TWO MONTHS LATER- I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL FROM CHINA LOVE, THE MARRIAGE AGENCY IN ANSHAN. THEY TOLD ME THAT LI AHN LEFT A MESSAGE FOR ME.
SHE WANTED ME TO KNOW THAT I SHOULD FORGET ABOUT HER AND FIND ANOTHER WOMAN IN CHINA FOR A WIFE. SHE SAID HER DAUGHTER VERY VERY ILL AND SHE HAD TO BE THERE WITH HER IN CHINA TO TAKE CARE OF HER.
I WAS NOT SATISFIED. THE WAY I FELT, REGARDLESS OF HER DAUGHTER'S HEALTH, SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO SHUT ME OUT OF HER LIFE. MAYBE THAT WAS AN EXCUSE TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT SHE WAS LYING TO ME ALL ALONG ABOUT LOVING ME.
I LEFT ANSHAN AND FLEW TO SHANGHAI AIRPORT TO CHANGE PLANES FOR NEW YORK. WHILE I WAS IN THE WAITING AREA OF THE AIRPORT, I CRIED UNASHAMEDLY
WHILE I WAS ON THE PLANE WAITING TO TAKE OFF-IT WAS RAINING OUTSIDE-I COULD SEE THE RAINDROPS AGAINST THE WINDOWS OF THE PLANE. I THOUGHT OF LI AHN AND WHAT SHE WAS DOING AT THAT MOMENT. SHE WAS THINKING OF ME I WAS SURE.
THE RAINY NIGHT OUTSIDE WAS A METAPHOR FOR MY OWN TEARS IN MY HEART.
SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID WAS WRONG AND SHE OWES ME AN EXPLANATION. SOONER OR LATER, SHE WILL GIVE ME THAT EXPLANATION- THAT IS MY ONE SATISFACTION.
TIME TO MOVE ONWARDS.
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